Charm of the Dark and Sincere
by Will Peterson
Summary: At Ciel's command, Sebastian finally reveals his true form. Ciel's reaction is unexpected.


_I mainly read the manga but I also took some cues from the anime while writing this story. We really don't have much information about Sebastian, huh? No matter where you look, he is a mystery._

_Thank you for reading._

**Charm of the Dark and Sincere**

My butler's appearance is beguiling by design. All aspects of his persona, from his looks to his manners, are carefully crafted to charm and deceive the humans around us. His skill at disguise is such that even I sometimes forget about his true nature – an error so foolish and dangerous that I astound myself with it. I cannot lower my guard around Sebastian. Oh, I don't fear his betrayal. I know he will serve at my side and obey my every order for as long as I live. But he is loyal to the contract, not to me.

I don't trust him. I never did, but it's fair to say I've become a more suspicious person over time. It used to be that I could see his false face every day and not care that he is a walking lie. Lately, though, I've grown tired of looking at he who is not real.

I need to see the truth. It's not because I'm paranoid. Surely anyone would agree that it suits me, as the Earl of Phantomhive, to be in the know and in control. It is my right to know exactly who – and what – is serving me.

Earlier today, when I told Sebastian to show me his true form, he did not immediately react. He stayed still, his smooth expression frozen on his face. However, I could sense the loathing and reluctance that he barely concealed behind his eyes.

Polite as ever, he informed me in a mild tone that his true form is unsightly. Disgusting. Repulsive. He meant to kill my curiosity with that dire warning, but instead he only strengthened it. I said I didn't care for his concerns. Again he asked me to reconsider. Again he insisted there are some things in the world that I needn't see. His resistance annoyed me. I should never have to repeat my commands to him. He should know his place better than that.

He wasn't happy about it, but in the end he relented. Of course he did. It was an order from me.

We went to a small room downstairs and locked the door behind us. It was an empty room, with no furniture other than a chair we carried in with us. He wanted me to sit down before he transformed. He feared that the sight of his true form would prove so horrifying that, if I was standing, my legs would give out and cause me to collapse.

So this is where we are now – me sitting in the chair and Sebastian, not yet changed, standing a small distance in front of me. He is hesitating. His gaze is locked on my face, searching for a sign of weakness, for any indication that I might not be able to handle what he's about to reveal to me. I keep my expression plain and calm. He won't find the slightest trace of fear on my face.

My mind tells a bit of a different story. Faint inklings of doubt are starting to seep in. I caught glimpses of Sebastian's true form the first time we met, when he approached me to offer the contract, but he was obscured by darkness and a mysterious black mist that clung to him. I didn't get a good look at him back then and I'm not sure what to expect today. But that doesn't matter. I refuse to play the coward and go back on my order.

Sebastian is still wearing that concerned frown when his outline begins to blur. I'm able to watch him for only a few seconds before a sudden wind starts out of nowhere. Cold, powerful gales swirl around the room and buffet me against my chair. My hands tightly grip the armrests. My eye snaps shut. I try to keep it open, but in the face of this blasted wind, I can't even squint.

My lips press into a scowl. Right now, Sebastian is dissolving from one shape into another and I can't see any of it. He didn't tell me that his transformation would have this side effect! We may be indoors but this storm makes me feel as though we were outside on a turbulent day. Only, I doubt any natural weather could carry this distinct aura of malice.

The wind never completely dies, but eventually it settles down enough. I open my eye and blink a few times. There he is: the demon, standing before me.

My heart pounds.

He holds still, patiently letting me stare at him. I can't do much else besides stare; I'm frozen on the spot. The sight of him is so strange that I can't immediately comprehend what I'm seeing. My gaze flickers rapidly over his form, unable to concentrate on any one thing because every part of him is new and bizarre and attention-grabbing. Gradually, though, the details start coming into focus. I observe his feathers, his claws. All his inhuman features. I notice there are a few puffs of black mist floating around him. Apparently he can't get rid of that mist; I assume he would've if he could. Not that it matters. The clouds are insubstantial and my view of him is basically clear. Maybe even too clear.

Second by second, it becomes apparent to me that he looks just as horrific as he promised. He is truly a creation of hell.

My heart is still pounding. It hasn't slowed for a moment since the demon transformed. It beats so fast that the force of it seems to echo through my whole body. But it's not fear that moves it, I realize suddenly. My heart is not scared. It's arrested.

I am immobile in my seat, my face and my stare both kept blank. He must not know the mad thoughts whirling inside my head like the wind from earlier.

He gave me so many warnings about the atrocity of his true form. I expected that I would have to fight with every ounce of my strength to control my terror and revulsion. Instead, I'm having the opposite problem. Against my will, I feel a pull towards him. He is grotesque – I can recognize that – but I find that I don't actually care.

I know who this fiend is. I never saw him before, but I'm familiar with his aura because it reminds me of my own.

My hand is moving by itself. It reaches up and lifts my eye patch.

"You have an order for me, master?" He speaks in a whisper but his voice still seems to echo through the room.

"No," I reply. "I just want to have a better look at you."

I'm in a trance as I gaze at the demon with both my eyes. The fledgling sensation budding inside my chest feels foreign to me, but I at least know what is causing it. After my parents died, I was captured by a cult and tortured for a month. All the pain, the hatred, the relentless thirst for revenge that bloomed within me during that time like a poisonous flower . . . they're rooted so deeply in me that nothing could ever separate us.

But if something could? If some kind of force from the underworld could reach inside me, extract the dark emotion and give it a material form? It would look just like the devil standing before me now. He mirrors the evil that lurks within my heart. He resembles a part of me: the deepest, darkest part of me.

I'm definitely not afraid of him. He's a being of hell, but I have been to hell and back before.

My eyes, wandering over his form, come to rest on his eyes. His familiar red eyes. They're the only part of him that still looks the same.

It's as though a lightning bolt shocked me. All of a sudden, I remember who I'm looking at. This isn't a pretty, unknown creature who's come out a storybook to enchant me. It's just Sebastian. It's just my despicable butler.

I'm more of a fool than I thought. I cannot become attached to him. He serves me with remarkable obedience only so that he may someday devour my soul.

Humph. I suppose this situation would be almost funny if it wasn't so dangerous. I never felt even a glimmer of affection for my servant until now. He goes around everywhere wearing a handsome human face but it is his monstrous true face that I finally take a liking toward. I honestly regret that he can't always appear like this.

"Are you all right, master?" Sebastian whispers.

"Hmm? Why are you even asking? Surely you know that the Earl of Phantomhive could never be ruffled by a disturbance as inconsequential as you."

He blinks once and says no more, but I can read his devil-face better than I ever could his human one. He was worried I would lose my mind over his true form. He was sure I'd be sickened at the very least. It puzzles him that I seem to still have my wits intact, not to mention my personality.

Oh, all that unnecessary anxiety! It amuses me so much, but I won't force him to suffer any more of it. I will make it clear, once and for all, that I have no fear. I lift my chin and flash an impetuous smile at him. "Well, _Sebastian,_ now that I have seen your true form, how about I learn your true name as well?"

I shouldn't have phrased it as a question. I gave him room to interpret it as a suggestion instead of a command.

"Don't push it, young master," the demon responds in a dry tone.

END


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